during my lunch break i like to go to the break room in the back and relax. today i had someone have the same lunch break time, and we just started talking. it started with him asking me where im from cause of my accent, and i said kuwait and the whole conversation started from there. what brings you here, thats pretty far away etc. and im an open book so i just kept answering his questions which basically got me to tell him my life in ten minutes xD
''........and so i came here a few years ago as i wouldnt get arrested for being transgender in the states
''so wait.... transgender? isnt that like a man turning into a woman or vice versa? you're not really that, are you?''
i was like ummmm... yeahhh (?) i was confused, then he asked a question that made me laugh XD
''oh wow okay, so... were you a man and now a woman, or a woman and now a man?''
i was like wut? xD i mean, isnt it obvious?? anyways i tried to keep a straight face and not laugh because i could see it on his face that he was seriously confused.
''um... i was born with male body parts. does that make any sense?''
''yeah just.. wow''
''yeah just didnt think you were transgender.''
''oh... what did you think i was then? o.o
what he said next made my day! "i thought you were just a woman. regular plain woman.''
i think it was a number of things that made me super happy about hearing that. it was the way he said it, it was genuine and not in the bit least pretentious to protect my feelings. that aside, he doesnt even know me! i find it hard to believe friends sometimes when they say i pass or look super feminine cause its my friends who are telling me that, people who just want me to be happy. and this guy is a co-worker who ive known for barely a week! he's still a stranger and had no reason to want to make me feel better about anything! its not like i was crying or sad or anything, we were talking and i was smiling through it all! on top of that, it came from someone who doesnt know the first thing about transgender people! he doesn't know about misgendering or desphoria or what things he could say that would hurt them or make them feel better; he was just using her and she on me the whole time cause he genuinely saw me as a woman and thought i was a naturally biologically-born woman! that was earlier today and im still thinking about that even after i got home and made dinner. its just so funny that after living as myself full time for 3 years that i had to come out to someone xD hopefully it'll be the last time, at least at work. i hope word spreads around so people would know and wouldnt be so confused about it >_< spreading transgender awareness
a few guys have asked me in the past few days whether i have a boyfriend or not. some were co-workers, others managers, and others costumers. to costumers i just said yes so they would leave me alone ;w; to co-workers, seeing how i work with them everyday for like 8 hours, i didnt wanna lie so i told them that there's this thing going on with me and david... i know i said me and david broke up a couple of weeks ago, but idk whats going on between us tbh. i thought we were done, but a few days ago we started talking again... and he mentioned that he loves me.. and i kinda miss him and miss being around him.. oh god this is gonna turn into another thing like what i had with abby isnt it? XD i hope not i hate drama TT_TT for right now though we're just too busy with work to think about that, im working long shifts at a new job, and he's working as a manager at a restaurant with crazy long shifts. but for right now to get rid of attention at work everytime someone asks me if i'd go out with them or such ill just stick to using david as my boyfriend excuse XD and im pretty sure he's taken liberty in doing the same >_> i mean last time he was over i heard him on the phone telling someone that he wouldnt be working the evening hours as he was at his girlfriend's place. i mean dont get me wrong, i would love to be someone's girlfriend again, i miss having a boyfriend. but i also want it to be right, and not rushed. if there's anything that ive learned from being with tk, lj, tyler or eli its that i shouldnt rush into relationships. ever. it just ruins everything Dx